Back and doing well

Hi everyone:

I haven't posted in a while; this is a good thing.

Kathleen and Don had a great vacation in Jamaica (for four nights, not three as I had posted previously...oops.) I've posted some pictures below.

Kathleen is at her oncology appointment with Don this morning. Her hemoglobin was at 11.4, and her platelets were at 15,000. She is receiving a chemo treatment. All in all, she seems to be doing fairly well. Let's keep the good trend going.

Love,
Brian

Off to Jamaica

Hi everyone:

I haven't posted much lately because there hasn't been much to report. Kathleen's numbers fluctuate, but have stayed mostly stable (which means Kathleen stays out of the hospital). She and Don left this morning for a three-night vacation in Jamaica. Hopefully, they'll come back with tons of pics.

Cheers,
Brian

The remarkable Kathleen

Hi everyone:

I went with Kathleen to her oncology appointment yesterday morning. After two weeks since her last hospitalization, I was expecting that Kathleen would need to be admitted to the hospital for blood transfusions. Instead, her numbers jumped again. Her hemoglobin was at 11.5, and her platelets skyrocketed to more than 85,000 (still well below normal, but off-the-charts for Kathleen). Needless to say, she was a happy camper.

Kathleen received the first infusion in a second round of chemo. She came through it without event, although she's likely to feel a bit miserable through the weekend.

Don and Kathleen are planning a 4-day trip to Jamaica in mid-November, with her doc's blessing. Keep your fingers crossed she's faring well at the time they leave.

Kathleen's low blood pressure continues to be a concern. She was given fluids yesterday, and encouraged to eat more salty foods. In the scheme of things, this seems like small potatoes, which is exactly what we want to hear. The only blue moment in the day came when Kathleen asked her doctor how long he planned to keep her on chemo. His answer? "As long as it's working." I think Kathleen had hoped she'd catch a break. She shook her worries off quickly, as Kathleen is wont to do.

Don't you love a day full of good news, especially since so many of my postings haven't been so inspiring?

Love,
Brian

A no-hospitalization Wednesday

Hi everyone:

For a rare change, Kathleen went to her oncology appointment today and--get this--didn't have to head to the hospital for blood. Kathleen's friend Cindy took her today and is batting 2-for-2 on visits that don't result in hospitalizations. Kathleen's hemoglobin was over 10, and her platelets were in the 38,000 range--not great, but enough to keep her out of the hospital. If she's in decent shape next Wednesday, she'll start another course of chemotherapy. That's the latest...

Love,
Brian

She's outta there!

Hi everyone:

Kathleen was released from the hospital late this morning. Have a great weekend, all.

Love,
Brian

Numbers down

Hi everyone:

I went with Kathleen to her oncological appointment yesterday morning. Although Kathleen wasn't as weak or dizzy as she was going into previous appointments, and even though she'd put on a few pounds, her blood counts were low (6 for hemoglobin, 26,000 for platelets). What's more, her blood pressure, which typically runs on the low side, was low enough (70s over 40s) to be of concern. Her doctor admitted her on a 23-hour hospitalization so Kathleen could receive two units of blood.

Last night, Patty spent the night with Kathleen. During the night, Kathleen's blood pressure dipped to disconcerting levels (68/37), so she was moved to the ICU. This morning, her blood counts came back with marginal improvement, but not enough to allow her to go home. She's receiving another two units of blood this afternoon. We're not sure if she'll get out today or not. She's feeling a bit discouraged and depressed that she's stuck in the hospital when she thought she'd be able to go home.

I'll post another update as soon as I know more.

Love,
Brian

As promised...a quick update

Hi everyone:

I'm running around gathering things for my weekend road trip, and just remembered that I had promised an update before I left. So, here it is:

Kathleen went in for her third round of chemo this morning. Before she received the drugs, her blood counts were taken...and get this: her platelets were up to 58,000 and her hemoglobin was at 9. Although these are still below desired levels, this is the first time she's gone in and not had a substantial decline in her numbers. Let's hope this encouraging trend continues. Kathleen was a happy camper when she called with the results.

Kathleen will likely have a less-than-stellar weekend, because of the chemo, but hopefully these new numbers give her some added energy to fight the good fight.

Love,
Brian

Not much to report

Hi everyone:

I know from my experience writing this and Patty's medical blogs that days of silence promote worry, so I'm popping in to let you know that, as of last night, Kathleen was tired but otherwise faring pretty well. She had a busy Saturday, with visits from family and an outing with Don and Sean.

Kathleen is scheduled for a third round of chemo this coming Wednesday. At that time, she'll also have her blood levels checked. I will try to provide an update by Wednesday evening.

I'm leaving town for a few days starting Thursday, so please don't panic if things are quiet on this page. If there are any major developments, I'll find a way to get online and post an update.

Love,
Brian

Home again

Hi everyone:

Kathleen was released from the hospital this morning. Her numbers, while not ideal, were improved enough to allow her to return home.

Love,
Brian

New week, similar story

Hi everyone:

I drove Kathleen to her oncology appointment today. She was scheduled to receive an injection of Procrit, and to have her blood counts taken. The results of the latter (5.4 on hemoglobin, 14,000 on platelets) have again landed Kathleen in the hospital on a "23-hour stay". Kathleen was very weak today, so our hope is that the three bags of whole blood she's receiving tonight will be enough to keep her going and get her out of the hospital without an extended stay.

Kathleen is pretty frustrated that the chemo has not, as yet, yielded the results she had hoped for. Her oncologist said that he felt Kathleen would have to go through a third round of chemo (next week), and that he wasn't prepared to draw any conclusions yet about chemo's success or failure until after that third round.

Patty is spending the night with Kathleen. Please keep those positive thoughts heading her way.

Love,
Brian

P.S. On a positive note, if Kathleen responds to the blood transfusions as she has in the past, she'll probably be an Energizer bunny over the weekend. I just wish she could keep it going for more than a handful of days.

Visitors, visitors, visitors

Hi everyone:

Sharon, MaryKate, Brian, Emma, MaryBeth and Jeff visited Kathleen at her home today; here are a few pics:

A rough start, but a pretty good day

Hi everyone:

Kathleen has really struggled with nausea lately, even with the near-wonder-drug Zofran in her arsenal of antiemetics. She bounced back enough yesterday afternoon to join Patty and I on a short trek to Utica for dinner. We were all a bit disappointed to be skirting Starved Rock State Park and seeing no color other than green, but it was still a nice, low-key outing on a gorgeous day. Along the way, we shared a ton of memories and laughs, and picked up a pretty cool studded pink leather cap for our patient. She can add this to her collection of knit caps and an amazing scarf she was sent by her Aunt Sue.

Upon our return, we stopped by a party Kathleen's friend Cindy was hosting, and then ran Kathleen back home. She was pooped, but happy about her full day. I was happy to be taking home a care package of tons of food from Cindy's party. Kathleen's feeling a bit nauseous this morning, but hopes to rebound to join her son Sean for a trip to the arboretum.

I'd share pictures from our afternoon out, but I had drained the battery with all the other snaps from recent days. Oops.

From what we've observed, Kathleen thrives if she can set her own pace for things and doesn't take on more than she can handle. Last weekend, at our house, Kathleen barely moved, except for our occasional photo ops; she was too weak to do much of anything. The chemo was being a monster to her, but everyone did their best to keep it at bay.

This week, after Kathleen received two rounds of blood products, she had what we've been calling a "blood buzz"; she has huge amounts of energy followed by equally huge amounts of fatigue. It's hard to convince someone to take it easy when she's feeling better than she has in several days. She's a tough cookie...and a stubborn one.

Love,
Brian

A few pints short...

Hi everyone:

Kathleen received a call from her oncologist's office yesterday. Turns out that their preference would have been that Kathleen stay in the hospital, because even with the three pints of blood her numbers were too low. She was asked to come in to the outpatient area of the hospital this morning to receive more blood products; Don took her. Hopefully, this next round will bump her numbers to a higher, safer level. I'll let you know if/when I hear more.

Love,
Brian

A whirlwind 24 hours

Hi everyone:

Kathleen had a terrible morning yesterday. When I arrived, she had been vomiting, was alarmingly pale (think "Man from Glad") and weak (she almost fell over a couple of times when she stood too quickly). Her doctor suggested that she come into the clinic for fluids--the theory being that she was suffering from dehydration.

Kathleen's friend Cindy drove to the 2:30 appointment, and I tagged along. At the weigh-in, Kathleen was down four pounds in just five days. Carol, a great nurse at the clinic, drew Kathleen's blood; when the results came back, she looked quite alarmed. Kathleen's platelets were low, and her hemoglobin was running at 5.2gm/dl (normal is 11.7-13.8). The nurse expressed surprise that Kathleen was even conscious, let alone ambulatory, and said it was a good thing she came in when she did.

Arrangements were made for Kathleen to be admitted on a "23-hour hospitalization", which meant that if all went well, she would receive blood transfusions and then be released. Given Kathleen's recent hospital track record, none of us were too optimistic she'd have a short stay. Last night, Patty and I traded places; she stayed the night, during which Kathleen received three pints of blood. The last of it dripped about a half-hour after I arrived this morning.

This morning at around 9am, Kathleen was released and I brought her to her home, where I'm writing this. You would not believe the difference in her within a single day. Today, she's moving around (probably a little too much), and seems quite a bit more like her old self. Her appetite, which had been pretty much non-existent (constant puking will do that to a person), has been, by Kathleen's standards, legendary. It's nice to see.

We're hoping any future visits to the hospital (and there will, no doubt, be more) are short like this one.

Stay tuned...

Love,
Brian

Still struggling

Hi everyone:

Thought I'd share some of the photos we snapped this weekend--whenever Kathleen was alert and able. She's spent much of the time lately feeling either exhausted or nauseous. What's more, the chemo causes her pain in her muscles and bones, especially in her thighs. We hosted her at our home for most of the weekend, which meant Patty was able to give her the round-the-clock TLC the chemo insists upon.

Kathleen came out for a couple of hours for a face-painting fundraiser at Patty's school early Friday evening. Even bundled up in a comfortable lawn chair, she was too weak to last through the event, so I took her back to our house. She wants so much to be a part of things, but just doesn't have the fuel in the tank to sustain any activity for long.

On Saturday, Don and a friend of his came over to watch some boxing; we cooked up a major feast and, later, shaved the head of Denise, our good neighbor and friend. On Sunday, our neighbor Trish stopped in to say hello to Kathleen. It seems Kathleen makes friends wherever she goes.

All in all, Kathleen made the most of a lousy weekend. This morning, I'm at her house to keep an eye on her while I work. She's feeling miserable and is having real challenges keeping any food or liquids down, so I believe Don will be calling the doctor sometime this morning. I suspect she will soon need fluids and perhaps blood products. Everyone's hope is to avoid another prolonged hospitalization.

If anyone happens to have a wheelchair kicking around that they could loan us, could you please let us know? Kathleen is able to participate in more activities (and life in general) if she's not required to walk any distance.

Keep those positive thoughts coming...and check out the pics below.

Love,
Brian

Feeling crummy

Hi everyone:

As you might expect, Kathleen is feeling pretty miserable, most likely from side effects of the latest round of chemotherapy. She feels nauseous, fatigued and sore. Hopefully, the chemo will have a positive effect, because it's making her feel pretty crummy right now.

More soon...

Love,
Brian

Keep sending those photos

Hi everyone:

Please keep sending digital photos that include Kathleen. Jim, Don's brother, sent along a bunch of photos from a California vacation, plus this one, of Kathleen with a whole bunch of the Callahans. Once I get enough photos, I'll put together another video slideshow. (Jessica, I may need to ask you for another song.)

Love,

Brian

Chemo, Round Two

Hi everyone:

This morning, Kathleen will be heading to her oncologist's office for a second round of chemotherapy. Lately, she's been having good days and not-so-good days; the chemo will likely bring on more of the latter. I'll keep you posted.

Love,
Brian

Video slideshow--Memories of Kathleen so far

Hi everyone:

I sorted through a bunch of photos we've taken of Kathleen over the 10 years I've known her, and discovered that we had close to 300! I compiled some of our favorites into the attached video slideshow, with music from Jessica Callahan, Kathleen's niece in California. I hope you enjoy it. If you have photos of Kathleen, please email them to me and I'll put together a second video.

Love,
Brian

Some newer, out-of-the-hospital pics

A pleasant surprise

Hi everyone:

Yesterday, MaryBeth and I escorted Kathleen to her oncologist's appointment. The doctor ordered a complete blood count (CBC). Kathleen had gone several days without transfusions of blood and platelets, so we anticipated her counts would be down and that we might need to take her for transfusions.

Instead, her platelets came back higher (24,000) than the last time they were checked! We exchanged high-fives all around. The encouraging results led the oncologist to schedule a second round of chemo for next Wednesday. We were also able to sort out a few issues with her doctor around pain management and stomach discomfort.

Kathleen was having terrible stomach cramps through the early part of the day yesterday, and again in the mid-afternoon. Her symptoms settled later in the afternoon, so Don took Kathleen out for dinner at Outback Steakhouse last night. The kids had a lasagna that one of the family's neighbors brought to them.

I'm with Kiddo today. She's having a so-so morning.

Love,
Brian

A nice evening

Hi everyone:

I spent yesterday morning with Kathleen at her house. Sean installed wi-fi in their home, so I was able to finish a project and keep an eye on Kathleen. We're already experiencing some frustrations with scheduling appointments and securing new prescriptions. A home health nurse stopped by later in the morning; Kathleen will have nurse visits to her home twice each week to start. It may take us a day or two to get organized, but we'll muddle through.

Don and the kids went to the baseball game last night; Kathleen would have liked to have joined them, but the amount of walking, climbing, sitting and jostling would have been a bit more than our delicate patient could handle. So, as a consolation prize, we took Kathleen out for a low-key dinner.

Patty dressed Kathleen up and helped her with makeup; she looked really pretty and...dare I say it...healthy. Kathleen jammed (lightly) to a CD in our truck on the way to the restaurant, and really seemed to enjoy a low-key evening out. The folks at Houlihan's overheard us toasting Kathleen's parole from the hospital, and treated the group to a tray of desserts; it was a really nice and touching gesture.

Of course, when we got back, Kathleen was pooped, but at least she was able to have a bit of fun. Patty and Kathleen shared our bed; Patty said Kathleen had a decent night.

Today, we'll head back to Kathleen's house and I'll stick around to make sure she's comfortable. Later, Patty plans to drop in for a visit. Kathleen still has rough spots peppered through her day, but I know she's elated not to be stuck in the hospital; I think everyone shares this sentiment.

Stay tuned...

Love,
Brian

From Kathleen's friend Maria

Hi everyone:

Here's a photo Kathleen's long-time friend Maria shared with us. Maria's niece was married on Saturday, and Kathleen had hoped to attend the wedding. For obvious reasons, Kathleen could not be there but, as Maria shows in the photo, Kathleen was still on their minds. I just love this...don't you?

Love,

Brian

Recent pics

Hi everyone:

I wrote an earlier post (scroll down) to explain the decision to continue updating this blog; here are just a few photos we've snapped (when we remembered to pull out the camera) over the past few days.

Love,
Brian

Let's try this again, shall we?

Hi everyone:

Okay, before anything else: Kathleen is home from the hospital!!! Quite a bit more on that in just a bit. First, though, I feel a need to explain myself. Well, not quite yet. Isn't it awesome news? Did I mention that Kathleen is home from the hospital?

So we're back. Here's what happened:

First, I received roughly half a million messages from people with impassioned pleas for us to continue sharing updates about Kathleen--not only her medical challenges, but also the anecdotes about her life...not all of which, thankfully, are about cancer. Some of these pleas came from folks who have never met Kathleen in the flesh, but who now feel a connection with her. I'm biased, of course, but I believe you'd feel honored to know her, as I do.

Some notes came from family and friends who have spent time with Kathleen at the hospital and who I'm sure will agree she's one tough chick. Some came from people who must be feeling a little beaten up right now, but whose hearts were really in the right place. And one came from Kathleen's niece Jessica (who, by the way, is an amazing artist with a gorgeous voice), who choked me up with her letter to me today. Thank you so much, everyone. Clearly, Kathleen has, through the years, won the hearts of a great many people.

Last night, Patty made calls that cleared up misunderstandings about the blog. This, combined with the many notes we received, convinced us that I should keep this chugging along. So, for better or worse, you're stuck with me again.

Please understand I never wanted to step away from this. Kathleen loves it and, to be honest, I love writing about her. I'm learning that our collective worries about Kathleen are bringing many nerves close to the surface. So, although I feel strongly that the decision to step away was the right one under the circumstances, nobody wants to take anything away from Kathleen or those who love her.

This reminds me: we're supposed to be talking about Kathleen.

Kathleen was released from the hospital this afternoon at around 4pm. She had a lot of "stuff" to bring home, including several vases of flowers, a gaudy amount of snacks and candy, stuffed animals from her niece Emma, a beautiful ceramic candy dish Patty made just for her sister, and an awesome and colorful quilt Patty bought for her over the weekend. Kathleen may be sick, but she's also delightfully spoiled. Anyone have a problem with that?

We spent much of the afternoon with Kathleen (as did her brother Mike and his family, Kathleen's sister-in-law Eileen and our very good friends A.J. and Kristin). Kathleen wore a shit-eating grin on her face all afternoon, a look that was mirrored in the eyes of her family when she arrived home for the first time in almost two weeks. Kathleen was practically mauled by Don, Sean, Danny, Matt and Valerie; turns out, Kathleen mauls well.

What else is new? I mentioned in an earlier post that Kathleen was losing her hair. Yesterday afternoon, I shaved her head. She looks adorable; I told her she should have kept her hair that way all along. We picked her up a Livestrong cap which, I believe, supports cancer charities and which looks great on our little patient. Her nephew (and godson) Luke flew in from San Francisco just to spend a night with her, and her sister MaryBeth brought her some homemade chili.

In terms of Kathleen's medical condition, I'm not sure much has changed (please bear in mind I'm not a doctor, and I'm never one to sugar-coat). She still has a distended abdomen and her blood counts are still far below ideal. She is weak, in some form of pain or discomfort at most times, and ailing from the chemotherapy. To stay out of the hospital in the near future, she will need constant support, both from family and friends and from home healthcare providers. She will be spending a lot of time in doctors' offices, and on a constant regimen of medications, blood products and procedures. And she will, no doubt, have some real rough moments going forward. But I believe that being home will work wonders for her spirit, and that has to count for something in terms of her ability to fight the good fight.

When we left Kathleen's home about an hour ago, she was sleeping comfortably on her sofa. Don had spent the day preparing the house for her return. Sean plans to spend the night by her side. I'm planning to camp in her house many weekdays while the Callahans are at work or school (I can do my work anywhere there's wi-fi), and Patty intends to visit most evenings. We're quite addicted to this gal. The Callahan house is going to be a busy venue.

I'm sure Kathleen will welcome other visitors, and may even need a sleepover companion from time to time if she's having a rough day or night. Please check with Kathleen before you drop in, though...if people visit and she's having a tough day, it's better that she rest than try to socialize. Besides, if you check in, you can find out if you can be the hero who satisfies a craving for a milkshake or other treat.

This is getting long-winded, so I'm going to wrap it up for tonight. My apologies to anyone I upset with my earlier choice; I'm glad we're keeping this going. Before I sign off, I just want to say that I'm so, so, so happy Kathleen is out of the hospital. She's a fighter, and I'm sure she'll keep doing everything she can to kick cancer's ass. I'm sure Kathleen's family derives great comfort that there's such a passionate network of folks who will do everything they can to cover her back.

I'll post some pictures soon. If you visit Kathleen, please snap some photos of yourself with Kathleen and send them to me (omara_croft@yahoo.com) so I can post them for others (and for Kathleen) to see.

One more thing: did I mention that Kathleen is home from the hospital?

Love,
Brian

P.S. I love you, Kiddo.

With apologies

Hi everyone:

Years ago, when I was writing frequent updates to the blog I kept for Patty while she was trying to make peace with her wonky heart, I was criticized by one of Patty's doctors for sharing so much information about her condition. I had never been dishonest, nor was I overtly critical of those providing her care. All I tried to do was to keep people who cared about Patty informed about what was going on with her and, to the extent possible, to show my love for my wife through a difficult time. Patty was deeply hurt that anyone would criticize the blog, because it was a labor of love.

This blog, too, has been a labor of love. Kathleen is not only my sister-in-law, but one of my closest friends. For the 10 years I've known her, I doubt I've ever gone more than a couple of days without having some contact with her. When Kathleen learned her cancer had come back and found its way into her spine, I offered to write a blog on her behalf, so that (a) we would all have the opportunity to stay close with Kathleen when her ability to make time for everyone was compromised by illness, and (b) her family would have less of a burden answering the same questions many times over (a challenge we faced, in spades, when Patty was sick).

Recently, I've received comments directly and indirectly to suggest that some have taken issue with the content of this blog. To be honest, I cannot understand this, and I find it profoundly hurtful. However, it is what it is. Rather than have people start discussions about who said what and who's done this or that, I would rather spare Kathleen and her family any grief that may be coming from this blog's existence. And, to those who have been in some way offended by its content, I apologize...but with one caveat: this was never an "official" source of information about Kathleen, but an ongoing note from a friend, about a very dear, and very sick, friend.

At least for the time being, I am opting to no longer update this blog. Those of you who know both Patty and I personally can receive updates via email if you let us know you'd like them (contact us at omara_croft@yahoo.com). To those of you who have valued this blog and may now be excluded from updates, I apologize. I apologized to Kathleen tonight; it feels like I'm taking away what I thought was a gift to her.

I would hope, regardless of any perceptions any of us may own, that all of us want the best for Kathleen and her family, and that people can understand that my decision to write this blog, as well as my decision to step away from it, were never motivated by anything more than my love for Kathleen. If anyone reads this and chooses to dispute my motivations, you're entitled to your opinions...Kathleen has always known exactly what this was all about, and that's enough for me.

Love,
Brian

Day 11 and counting...

Hi everyone:

The other day, I arrived at the hospital to find Kathleen sitting up in bed with an angry look on her face. I thought that perhaps she hadn't received her medication on time and was in pain, or that a member of the medical crew was getting on her nerves. Cautiously, I said, "What's up?" Without a second's hesitation, she announced, "I am NOT going to be stuck in this hospital this weekend." I had no idea how to respond. Based on the look of conviction on her face, I was a little afraid to respond.

It's Saturday afternoon, and Kathleen is sitting right next to me...in the hospital. This is Day 11 of her second hospitalization. We still have no real sense of when she may be released.

We received confirmation Thursday afternoon that, as doctors had guessed, the fluid drawn from Kathleen's abdomen contained malignancies. Even though we were all fairly certain this would be the case, the hard data still carried an additional sting. She still retains a substantial amount of fluid on her abdomen, although the Lasix (diuretic) seems to have reduced the swelling in her ankles and feet. The excess fluid makes her very uncomfortable; it not only puts a lot of pressure on her stomach, but it also pushes up against her lungs, which makes it more of a challenge for her to breathe. Often, she is hooked up to oxygen.

Kathleen's blood counts continue to follow a predictable pattern. On the day she receives platelets and/or blood, as well as the day after, her markers improve. By the start of the next day, though, the numbers take a plunge, which necessitates her receiving further transfusions.

Last night, while washing her hair, Kathleen noticed that clumps of her hair were falling out (a side effect of chemotherapy). Today, if she runs her fingers through her hair, a bunch more comes loose. She said, "I feel like a dog, shedding everywhere," to which I replied, "Hey...YOU get down from that furniture!" Cancer or no cancer, Kathleen and I will rarely pass up on any opportunity to give each other grief. I love to see Kathleen laugh, even if the laughs don't come as readily or endure as long.

Each new indignity, combined with the sense of isolation (imprisonment?) she's feeling in the hospital (even with frequent visitors) brings her down a bit more, although her spirits seem to rebound pretty quickly. I keep hoping someone comes up with a magic solution, the perfect balance that will let her get out of here and enjoy time outside the hospital.

Hopefully, that answer will come soon.

Stay tuned...

Love,
Brian

Some devastating news

Hi everyone:

I apologize for not posting an update more promptly. Kathleen received some very upsetting news last night, and asked that I hold off on an update until her family had an opportunity to discuss the information. Now that she's had a chance to do that, she's encouraged me--as she always has--to be frank in sharing this information here.

As I mentioned in a previous posting, Kathleen has undergone two rounds of paracentesis to reduce the volume of fluid that has been crowding many of her vital organs. To date, more than 4.5 liters have been removed from her abdomen, and her stomach has again become as distended as it was prior to the procedure. To give you an idea, a normal amount of fluid in this region is less than 150ml.

The condition is called ascites (a-site-eez). From what we understand, in cancer patients, the two most likely reasons for ascites to occur are (a) infection and (b) the presence of cancer cells in the fluid (and, often, the liver). Kathleen received confirmation yesterday that no infection was present in the fluid. Although Kathleen's GP presented this negative reading as a positive, I believe Kathleen did the math pretty quickly about what this suggested was the alternative.

Late yesterday afternoon, Kathleen's oncologist informed her that although the cytology results were not yet back (and, believe it or not, still aren't), he believed cancer was present, in large part because of how quickly the ascites was recurring. Malignant ascites is typically regarded as one of the markers that cancer is overwhelming the patient. Aside from paracentesis, there's little that can be done. It's too soon for Kathleen to undergo chemotherapy again, and nothing in Kathleen's serology results thus far have suggested any benefit has come from what is an unpleasant part of this whole ordeal.

Understandably, Kathleen was devastated, although I am still in utter awe of how well and quickly she accepts each new setback. This is just one of the reasons she's not just an amazing sister-in-law, but also one of my very best friends (even though she calls me names).

Kathleen's greatest desire is to get home. We've harangued her doctors daily with questions about, "How can we make this happen?" and, each time, the doctors have not been able to offer a hopeful answer. With the fluids she's carrying and her need for blood products at least every other day, she hasn't been stable enough to be away from near-constant medical support. Tomorrow, we'll ask again. Everyone's hope is to find a way to let Kathleen relax in her family room, even if it means she'll have to visit the doctor most every day.

Kathleen is such a big part of our daily lives. We're not ready to let her off the hook for this. She has such a strong spirit...so we know she's going to fight like the crazy woman I've always thought she was.

Keep those positive thoughts flowing in the direction of Kathleen and her family. I'll keep you posted.

Paracentesis Round Two, Plus More Frustration

Hi everyone:

Yesterday afternoon, Kathleen went through a second round of paracentesis to remove the fluid from her abdominal region. This time, things went much more smoothly and with far less discomfort. I was able to sit in the room as the procedure was taking place. The doctor showed us, on ultrasound, most of Kathleen's major organs. All were completely surrounded with fluid. When the doctor pointed out Kathleen's spleen, she said, "It looks bigger than I would have thought." The doctor replied, "It's a lot bigger than it's supposed to be."

In total, another 1.95 liters of fluid, which looks a lot like dark apple juice, was removed. One of the techs in the room said that fluid of that color typically means the liver is in some way compromised. This fluid, like the fluid from her last procedure, was sent out for analysis.

Here's the sucky part: almost all of the fluid is back this morning.

We're hoping to hear back about the analysis/cytology of the fluid from the first paracentesis procedure today. As soon as I know something, I'll share it here.

As you might imagine, Kathleen is pretty frustrated with being in the hospital.

Love,
Brian

Some recent photos (part II)

Hi everyone:

Here are some photos we snapped tonight. Kathleen thought that some who hadn't been to the hospital in the past day or two might want to get a sense of just how much fluid she's been retaining on her abdomen. Patty said, "Anyone who wondered what Kathleen looked like when she was pregnant...here you go!" One of the things I love about both Kathleen and Patty is their ability to find some dark humor in what are less-than-ideal circumstances.

Some recent photos (part I)

Hi everyone:

I'm posting two sets of photos tonight. The first set (below) includes pics from Kathleen's visit to our home a few days before her re-admission to the hospital. Although she was weak, we caught her during a short burst of energy and snapped some shots. I even got her up for a short dance.